Thursday, February 28, 2008

I got a new CAMERA!!!!

I got a new camcorder camera. LOVE IT!

Haven't really had a chance to play with it at all, but here is an after dinner clip:

Boring? Yes, but, enjoy anyway.


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Doctors and Waiting...

Today Bubba went back to the ENT. Last time he went they put a scope up his nose to look in his throat. He has had hoarseness since he was an infant. The doctor diagnosed him with reflux that was causing ulcers and nodules on his vocal chords. Anyway, he put him on a reflux drug and we went back today for his follow up.

When we got there, they gave us a sheet and a watch and gave us a series of questions like, "At what time did you arrive?" "At what time did you finish with reception?" "At what time did a staff come and take you to a room?" "At what time did the doctor come to the room?"

Anyway, when the doctor came in, he was really offended by the survey. He actually looked at it and was HORRIFIED that we had waited an hour in that little room waiting for him. For this place an hour is actually pretty good - usually we're waiting 2 or 3 hours. When my daughter needed tubes, it took MONTHS to get an appointment and sometimes we'd wait 5 or 6 hours just to be told that they are closing and can't see us that day and they would reschedule us 4 or 5 weeks later. It's much better now.

Anyway, Bubba isn't healing yet. He wants to give it another 4 months to give the drugs a chance to work and to keep working with the speech therapist and to train him not to yell. What six year old boy doesn't yell on the playground? Or down the stairs asking for "something." That is going to be really hard.

So, that's the update. We haven't gotten home before 7:30pm yet this week (8:45pm tonight). It's just... Bleh... I have so much stuff I want to do, and I'm just too burnt out to do it...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Bratz Lil Boyz

Ok - I laughed so hard I cried today. Usually I can make other people cry because of the stupid shit I do, but today, I was the one crying.

I mentioned my son's love affair with the Dollar Store. Well, while we were there on Friday I found a Lil' Boyz Bratz doll - but the little version. I knew the perfect recipient for this. It happened to be named Collin. I bought it for someone who already had a full sized Collin Bratz Boy doll in the office.

Anyway, I brought him in and low and behold the doll has SERIOUS abs. I'm not sure what stereotype this is setting for young metrosexuals. I don't believe all metrosexuals need to have incredible 6 pack abs. This is definately NOT your Ken doll. Upon undressing the doll at work - we realized that he had an adonis belt (I learned today that it's the "v" on the ripped male body leading to the "junk."

We checked for junk on the bratz doll - but like Ken - it is lacking. Except for the telltale "V"... I'm certain to be fired for 1. buying the doll and 2. giving the doll to someone on my team and 3. for laughing so hard at the abs and "junk" of the Lil Boyz doll.

I think I'm a freaking 12 year old!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Okey Doke

Alright -

So my first proposal flopped... That's ok... I'm ok with it... REALLY!! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT??!! I'M FINE!!! I REALLY AM!!!

Actually, I really am. I haven't given up on my dream to quit my job and do contract work from home. Honestly, I'm more excited than ever about it. I think my kids will benefit, and I think I will benefit. I've been so pro-woman working in tech for so long, it sort of feels like a defeat. But, maybe I'm just accepting my fate.

My dear friend (who's life has mirrored mine) recently was pushed out of her job and she is loving life as being a contractor and a mom. I really think I would too.. I still don't know if we can swing it. Can I live life without my random spending? What if I want the next super awesome iphone? I won't be able to get it... Am I ok with that - really?

My day started with a meeting with nib (new italian boss) and it wasn't horrible. However, I didn't really care what the outcome of the meeting was. It was more of informational sharing and it went very well. I think my team does things better, but I really listened to what he had to say. Maybe that's all he wants.. Can I make the next 6 months tolerable? Absolutely. So, I'm not quitting yet. It still sounds really lovely however.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Not a Fluke

Well, I went back to Walmart today for my weekly grocery shopping (actually, I went to Safeway yesterday to pick up chicken breasts that were on sale and wicked cheap asperagus). It was as busy as it was last week. But, I only spent $109 for the week for 4 people - that's still about half the price of Safeway. Which sort of makes me sad, because I love Safeway.

But, I saved us another $100 this week. :) I also put out my first proposal on a website design - services for services. We'll see how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I have to go to work tomorrow, and I literally have meetings from 8am to 5pm. And it makes me want to cry, big fat crocodile tears.

At Bubba's indoor soccer game, I saw a dear friend who was the one other working mom that I identified with. She quit her job back in January (for different reasons) and is just loving life. She and I had approximately the same number of people working for us and we both held positions of "authority" in a male dominated field. Our experiences were very similar. She is now doing some contractual work in her field and she's really enjoying it. She also has a peanut allergic kid. And our kids went to school together for years, and I carpooled her kids to school for a year. They are a wonderful family and I'm thinking that if they can do it, we can too. After two weeks of pursuing this, we haven't dismissed it yet. That is saying something! I still feel a lot of hope - we might actually be able to make this work.

While trying to watch what I spend these last two weeks - I realized how much more comfortable I am being "frugal." I grew up in a house with one working parent - oddly enough, it was my mom. My mom was an ICU nurse so we never had a lot of money. I feel much more normal watching costs. The last few years, with two good salaries, I buy whatever the heck I feel like. I don't care if something is on sale or not. But, it feels so much "better" to just not buy it because I can. Anyway, this probably sounds totally weird and I probably sound like a complete spoiled brat. So, I'll just shut up now.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Obsession with the Dollar Store

My son has an obsession with the Dollar Store. I just found this out.

I commute to work - it's about an hour drive. The kids also go to school close to my work - so they can be near in case anything happens. Plus, we get the commute time to spend together. Anyway, yesterday, Prissy had a field trip that ran way way way over and Bubba and I had to kill some time before we could pick her up and head home.

So, after dinner and frozen yogurt, we went to the Dollar Store - I told Bubba he could get one thing (yeah, I know - I totally spoil him. :)) Man, he was in absolute heaven. We spent a good 30 minutes there and he ended up picking a balloon pumper-upper thing with the long balloons you can make into animal shapes. He was so excited.

We got home and it was really late, so I sent Bubba up to take a shower. Prissy decides to try out Bubba's new toy and breaks it. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. It's a freaking dollar toy and not made well - but when Bubba came down and saw his toy was broken he was crushed. He didn't even get a chance to break it himself. Anyway, Prissy felt horrible and gave him $5 to make up for it.

So, we went to the Dollar Store near us today and Bubba is just obsessed with the place. He bought himself several things. All of it crap. But, at least I won't feel bad throwing it away in 3 or 4 weeks when it becomes clutter.

There is some weird ass shit at the dollar store.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Annoying Coughing

Let me mention first, that I work in a cublicle environment. We have tiny tiny cubes. To make it more appealing, they make them gray. With half of the flourescent lights turned off. You can hear the person next to you breathing, typing, burping, farting and being. You know the most intimate details of their lives... The fights they have with their wives (not husbands, because there are very few women). You can hear when someone is talking to their lawyer because they are in the midst of a divorce. You know the entire plans of someone's life - whether you want to or not.

There is a guy who sits next to me and he has had this cough since the end of December. It has recently progressed to being a REALLY BAD COUGH... Some people are worried about him, I'm just fucking annoyed. I have told him to go to the doctor on multiple occasions. I should mention - he doesn't stop coughing. He says he doesn't feel bad - but he doesn't ever stop coughing - EVER. I'm not even sure when he breathes. It's so distracting and annoying that I'm about to kill him. I've brought him cough drops - and I continue to BEG him to see a doctor. He assures me that he doesn't have time (because he's so important and busy at work - give me a break.) But, his not having time is distracting enough where it's impacting ME DAMNIT!!! BECAUSE YOU KNOW - IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT ME!!! Anyway, Monday's and Tuesday's I don't spend any time in my office - so, I won't have to listen, but if he still has this cough on Wednesday - I'm dragging him to an Urgent Care clinic.

Ugh! He is teaching me some strong lessons about taking care of yourself for the sanity of others.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Wish it was more exciting

I wish this post was something more exciting for you. It's nothing. Blah. Boring. I'm so sorry...

I have been spending my excess time (HAHAHAH!!) trying to learn the Microsoft Expression tools. So far - I'm not throwing up. But, only time will tell. I still am thinking I'd like to trade services for services - I'll do some web development for some sort of service. It's actually hilarious that I use blogger for this site. My other original site is an installed Movable Type site that I modified and made it my own. Oddly, I like blogger a little bit better for just general boring blogging updates. But, I'm actually able to develop websites. So, why not start bartering my "talents?"

This has been such a slack week - the public schools have presidents week so we didn't have baton. And it's been raining like cats and dogs so both baseball and softball have been cancelled. So, it's been rather low key. I've cooked every night this week. I KNOW, RIGHT? Hubby has a pretty nasty cold, he was supposed to travel tomorrow for work, but canceled it - he's really congested and stuffed up - so flying would be horrific. I'm glad he'll be at home tomorrow. Prissy is traveling to San Francisco tomorrow for a field trip - unfortunately it's an outdoor fieldtrip - I'm glad I'm not going on it. Bleh.. It's cold and rainy. But, Prissy is still excited - kids don't mind the cold and wet.

So - I wish this update was exciting, or funny, or at least interesting - I apologize for that. :)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Just Messing Around

I'm just messing around tonight - creating web pages randomly. Which I actually really enjoy. I'm thinking that I'll do some web development maybe. I have some ideas - I need to see if they'll pan out. I'm feeling very very raw and sensitve tonight.

Anyway, we totally got into the lunar eclipse tonight - while I'm not the best photographer, I took some pictures:

lunar_eclipse 008

lunar_eclipse 026

the end.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Can We Live on Only One Salary?

This is the question I have been playing over and over and over in my head. We are going to do a "trial run" to see if it's feasible. We are going to put my paycheck into a separate account and take out the kids private school expense and the housecleaners and put that in our normal account - because that will go away if I quit my current job. By the way, I'm not quitting my job any time soon (if it's at all possible.) We will wait at least 6-9 months before we make a decision. We are just trying to see if it's even remotely possible. However, since I've started on my cost consciousness - I realize we spend a LOT of money unnecessarily. Like at lunch, and dinner, and just random crap that I don't think twice about.

So, with our experiment, if we realize that we spend more than we would potentially take in - ok, we either need to figure out more cost cutting or realize that we just can't do this. And we still have the money sitting in a saving's account and we can go on a kick ass vacation - which I'll desparately need knowing that I have to continue to work for nib... Or if we figure out that we can do it - we'll have this little bit of extra money - just in case. So, regardless, it doesn't hurt to have this extra savings account.

We will know in 6 months if we really can live on one salary.

Am I boring you yet? I'm completely baffled by people who live on one salary. I just don't know how they do it. Today, a friend and I were trying to come up with cool part time jobs that I could so while the kids were at school - he suggested that I go into phone sex. I have been told that I have a sexy voice (although, when told by your co-workers that your Italian partners think this, it is a little disturbing.) So, that could be lucrative. I LOVE LOVE LOVE interviewing people - so maybe I could do some local headhunting/recruiting - also lucrative. I used to be a real live programmer before I sold my brain to the devil to become a manager, so it's also possible that I brush up on my skills and do some contractual web development of some sort. Oh, I could sell web ads on my blog - that'd net me maybe $.16 a month. Maybe I can be like Suzanne and try out to be a dead body on Law and Order. That would be cool too! Any other fun jobs that can be done in 2-3 hours during the day? (It would be really awesome if I could make $50K from working 15 hours a week! It would solve all of my problems. But, I draw the line at prostitution and stripping. I'm just too old for that right now, and I think I wouldn't make much from it - cause I'd probably really suck (no pun intended.)

Man, I haven't even really been drinking tonight either. See what hope does to a person?

Monday, February 18, 2008

How I can get my floors clean and save $100 a week

You know that I'm on the look out for money saving tips. We currently have a cleaning service while I've been working full time. Because, if I'm not home until late every night the last thing I want to do is clean. We have tried to keep the house cleaned ourselves, but spending 3 hours on the weekend cleaning is not exactly what I want to do, and having someone to come and clean is part of the trade off of working full time. If I quit my job, we will cancel this service. I have found a way that we can keep the floors cleaned:

Tonight at dinner the conversation about being parents came up:

  • Bubba: Is it hard to be a parent?
  • Me: It is hard, and very rewarding too. The rewarding part is the kisses and hugs and seeing you make good choices. The hard part is teaching you right from wrong and teaching you how to become a productive adult.
  • Bubba: Yeah, that must really be tough.

  • Bubba: I used to think that girls were born from girl's private parts and that boys were born from boy private parts. But, now I know that boys and girls come from only girl's private parts.
  • Prissy: Don't they come out of the butt?
  • Me: No, they come out the front privates.
  • Bubba: That is why babies are more watery and not so rocky...

Hmmm - maybe I should give that boy some higher fiber foods?

Sunday, February 17, 2008

How I saved $100

Ok - so, I mentioned that I need to be able to save $30K a year in order to quit my job. Today I began my quest of cutting spending. I normally shop at Safeway (Safeway - how I love thee) but it's expensive. However, the produce and meats are fresh and excellent and everyone there is so friendly and I can get in and out in no time (I never have to wait in line.)

Today, I went the 3 extra miles to a Super Walmart (Walmart with a grocery store.) Well, it was packed to the gills and I almost had a panic attack in produce (I'm not super with major crowds.) I had to push my cart through people and swerve around little kids. I had to listen to children crying (at full volume) and screaming (at louder than full volume) and whining (not because I hit them with my cart though.) But, everything was cheaper. EV.ER.Y.THING. Cheap. However, the meats and produce were fresh because they were flying off the shelves and were being restocked immediately. I had to wait in line for almost 10 minutes to check out. It took me about 45 minutes longer to shop at Walmart. But, my regular $200-$250 a week shopping bill was $115 and that included shampoo, conditioner, deodorant and two toothpastes. It was cheap. If I wasn't working, I could go at like 8am in the morning on Wednesday when there are no crowds.

Now, some people think that Walmart is the devil - pushing out all the "little" businesses. This is certainly true. But, Walmart also makes things affordable for everyone. I normally will NOT shop at Walmart (because I just don't like the crowds, noise, wait and general atmosphere.) I'm pretty much a Target / Safeway kind of gal. But, if I save $100ish a week - dang, that's almost $5 grand a year. That is significant. And it gets me closer to not needing to work.

As a side note - the wine place I found yesterday, called TOTAL WINE (spm!!) is also less expensive. So, I'd save money there. I picked up this $5 a bottle Italian wine (I fell in love with Italian wine when I was in Milan last October for business) and it's SO GOOD. When I was in Italy - I noticed that wine was dirt cheap. Even the most expensive bottles were $7. So, it makes sense that I can get a good Italian wine for cheap. So, I did buy some of my more expensive brands, and there were $5 cheaper at Total Wine. But, maybe I can cut my wine costs by $25 a week as well? That would be another $1,200. Little by little - (and I wouldn't even need to give up wine - SQUEE!!)

Maybe if I become a proficient seamstress - I can make ice skating, gymnastics and baton costumes. The mark up on those puppies is incredible (a normal costume will cost anywhere from $125 to $400 - I can make one for about $25 total.) So, if I made for a team for 2 routines, I could easily make $2000. After this entire post, I only need ~$22K now!!! :D

Saturday, February 16, 2008

My First Leotard

SQUEEE!!! I finished my first leotard!!! I worked on it last night and today. And while a leotard is definately NOT the hardest thing to make (ok, it's probably one of the easiest things in the world to make.) I'm still really excited that I was able to make something that can actually be worn.

leotard 001

leotard 002

leotard 003

I totally dig the material. Prissy will probably just use this as a practice leo - but I made it and it's not terrible and it actually fits her. It's interesting that a pattern can be altered to actually fit! *LOL*

Today was wonderful - I could have slept in if I hadn't woken up at an ungodly hour - completely wide awake. But, we had Taekwondo this morning and then watched Ghost Hunters and I went and got additional fabric to try my next leo and I found this AMAZING WINE STORE. There were SO MANY WINES and they were significantly cheaper than anywhere I've ever seen them. YAY!!! So, I spent a ton of money... And I'm stocked for at least the next two weeks. :D

Friday, February 15, 2008

Friday Pictures

Good Gawd this has been the longest week ever. (Do I say that every Friday?) I gave my pitch today - it didn't go bad. But, things won't be immediately changed. But, at least I did SOMETHING. It actually makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER.

I'm reading a most awesome book called Crashing Through - A True Story of Risk, Adventure, and the Man that Dared to See by Robert Kurson. I don't usually read non-fiction - but my dad recommended this one completely. I'm totally loving this book - my father is blind and met the man (Mike May) this book is about a couple of years ago when they were out visiting us. I don't even really want to tell you what it's about because I won't be able to do it justice and I will just make it sound boring. It's actually an amazingly inspiring book. The basic premise of the entire book is "I have to try." He lives very close to us - I'm considering asking for a meeting with him - just because.

Anyway, the title of this post is Friday Pictures, so I'll give you pictures:

This was taken after testing on Tuesday. Besides Bubba's terribly chapped lips, I really really like this picture - I only think it's because I felt really happy when this was snapped.

testing_photos 063

I think that I mentioned that a friend/president of baton board/super seamstress is giving me sewing lessons. She is teaching me how to sew a leotard - it should be pretty simple. It's only two pieces. But, I've never worked with stretchy fabric (especially stretchy velvet). And I'm mostly a quilter and not a clothing sewer. She taught me how to measure Prissy and alter the pattern. So, we'll see how it goes. I still have to sew the pieces together and add ELASTIC!!!!

testing_photos 070

While I was cutting out the pattern pieces, Oreo decided to help. She seems to always want to sit of what we are working on.

testing_photos 068

And once the pieces were cut, she had to try them out.

testing_photos 072

But, just one piece wasn't good enough - she had to try them BOTH out.

testing_photos 073

You know, as I was getting ready to hit the publish post button, I realized that I have more pictures of the cat than I do of the kids. What does that say of me as a mother?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

I didn't get to do my pitch today, I was postponed until tomorrow. Oh well.

Today was a much much better day.

I got a COACH PURSE for Valentine's day. I'm so freaking spoiled!!! YAY!!!! My mom bought Valentine's Day socks for both the kids (sort of a tradition), but the kids made fun of Bubba for wearing girls socks today. (they are black with red hearts.)

I got the kids American Idol for the Xbox 360 - it's a karoke game -

I wish I had something pithy and funny - or at least somewhat interesting to write about tonight. (this is the suck part of Blog 365 - sometimes you just get stuck with crap. :))

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Terrible No Good Very Bad Day

Ok, so how many times has that been my Blog title? All in all - today really sucked. However, unlike my hopeless message on Sunday - I was really in quite a jovial mood.

Today started with Prissy forgetting her baton after we were halfway to school (30 minutes into an hour drive), so we were certainly not turning back. Thank goodness Hubby overslept (thank goodness for me) and he was still at home when I called. He agreed to bring the baton, she had team practice tonight, so having a baton is pretty important. I dropped the kids off at school, which was uneventful. And I drove across the street to work. My work badge was far on the floor and I had to reach way over to get it and I bumped my head. I opened the car door, grabbed my laptop, purse, coffee and badge, locked the doors and slammed the car door shut. Looking down at my hands I realized I didn't have any keys in them.. DOH! So, once again, I call hubby asking him if he can help me get my keys out of my car. (We work at the same company, so it wasn't a huge deal.) Yes, I was the damsel in distress TWICE today before 8am.

Then, I went off to my 8am meeting with New Italian Boss (NIB). Wednesday mornings are NEVER fun. Today, was probably the WORST.MEETING.EVER. I yelled at him at one point - telling him to stop talking long enough to listen to the answer to his question. Nice... Very professional. He upset one of my employees that she got so pissed she had to leave the meeting room. And I realized that we have an absolutely fundamental disagreement about what our organization does. The major problem is that all of the managers that work for me attend this meeting and they were distressed. So not good. My direct team has a lot of healthy debate - we argue, we complain, we bring up our problems with each other and we work through them. There is actually very little that my team completely agrees on. Except for one major thing - we all realize we can't work under NIB. I actually wanted to go home at this time, but I couldn't - because my keys were still locked in my car.


Tomorrow, I'm pitching to my current/old boss to save my team from NIB. I'll let you know how it goes.

Ok, so, that wasn't the end of my day. I ordered an edible arrangement for Hubby. It's a bouquet of flowers made out of fruit. Since we are still dieting and can't have chocolate - this was the perfect solution! Anyway, my stupid company wouldn't let the delivery guy drop off the gift. *sigh* So, it was a major PITA in order to get the arrangement to Hubby. (Who has been wonderful today.)

Then, I got pulled into a meeting that wasn't a bad meeting, but it ran long and it made me late for my very important girls lunch date (which rocked my world - everyone needs to spend time with girl friends - it's so rejuvinating). Then, the afternoon was filled with the managers that report to me being totally freaked out, stressed out and pissed off due to this morning's meeting and I had to work to calm them down (which I don't think I actually succeeded in)... THEN, I realized I hadn't gotten the damn Valentines for Bubba or Prissy and had to leave work early to get those fuckers - in the stampede of all other slacker parents that forgot too. THEN, I talked to Bubba's teacher and I thought that he only had 20 kids in his class but he really has 22 - and I only got 20 boxes of conversation hearts for the party. THEN, I went to McDonalds and I was good on my diet and had a damn salad.

Then, I went to Prissy's baton practice and the super awesome seamstress/president of the board/founder/everythinger decided to give us a sewing class on how to make baton costumes... Which was just so cool.

THEN, we came home and I raced to the store with the conversation heart boxes and THEY WERE OUT!!!! So, I got two very small boxes of chocolates - so unfair..

So, long day - but, because of my girl friends (at lunch and at my sewing lesson) I had a good attitude. It sucked - yes. But, I realized today also why I'm feeling so positive - I have options. I'm going to try one tomorrow... But, there is no reason to stay in a crappy situation. I.HAVE.OPTIONS!!!!!

This post was way too long...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Another Belt Bites the Dust

We had our Taekwondo testing tonight. Hubby, Bubba and I all passed. Hubby and I are now blue belt decideds and Bubba is a red belt. He just has two more belts before he is a black belt. He will probably be a black belt by June. That's simply incredible.

Bubba was also put on the SWAT team (Super Winning Attitude Team?) Where he will go and be the "teacher's" helper at the lower belt classes. The instructors also told Hubby, Bubba and I that they wanted us to move up to leadership. These are the classes that are more advanced - with harder weapons and harder forms.

The other cool thing about this testing was that there were MULIPLE people testing for their black belts. I think there were 6 all together. I've been working with many of these people for almost two years - they were green belts when we came in as white belts. So, it was totally and completely awesome that they finally made it. It was a pretty neat ceremony too. So cool!

Also today, Bubba had a field trip to a local TV station where his class was actually filmed during the noon newscast. Then all the kids got to sit at the news desk and read their weather report that they wrote. It was filmed and they will give us a DVD of the whole class. I just think that is the coolest!

So - today was a long day, but not a bad day. And I only had to work a few hours. YEEHAW!!!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Long and Busy Day

Work today was work. *big sigh* Monday's truly are the suck. I have meetings solidly from 8am until 5pm. The kids didn't have school today and Hubby stayed at home with them.

Prissy had a baton lesson this evening and Hubby came and dropped her off and I stayed for the lesson. We raced home, I had some left over rice-a-roni for dinner and I have a pile of ironing to do tonight. It's especially important to get it done because we have taekwondo belt testing tomorrow. I get to go on a field trip with Bubba, and then we have to race back to home base and get dressed and race to testing. It's a 5pm for him, and then 6pm for adults. There are many black belts testing so testing will likely go until 8pm. So, I think I'm going to have to pack dinner for him and Prissy or something.

Anyway, rant off. I need to go flatten me some dobaks.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


Hope: the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled.

I did not realize until today that I have no hope. I'm a grown up now. Working a job I really really really don't like - which drains me of all positive energy. Where I live for the weekends and then have Sunday ruined because I start worrying about Monday.

My kids are great - and I'm excited about their future. But, I'm more worried about how I'm going to get them to soccer, Taekwondo, baton, softball, and baseball while I'm sneaking out of work to take them. I worry about what school Prissy will go to next year because her private school ends. I also don't know how we'll manage the public school schedule with minimum days, super-minimum days, and getting out way before work is out.

We've been talking about getting a new house closer to work and school, but right now is a terrible time to sell.

All in all - I do my daily routine. Very boring. Hating the job, which is 9 hours a day, but enjoying the very short evenings with my kids... It's just the routine. I'm not depressed. No... Definately not depressed. I probably drink more than I need to. It helps me relax and forget about work. But excited for the future? Not so much - all I can see is more of the same until retirement.

I decided last week that I cannot work for NIB. I can't do it. I won't do it. It will make me crazy and unhappy and yes, probably depressed. It just doesn't make sense. I have an idea for work so I won't have to report to nib. But, because he is a power hungry mongrel with big connections - I'm not sure I'll get what I want. I'll still try though.

But, today - I felt hope for the first time in a long long long time. Hubby raised the possibility of something... Quitting my job, moving the kids to a local public school and doing some part time contracting work from home. I felt such hope that it was a physical reaction. When we started really investigating it, it seems impossible to do financially. And the negative physical reaction of a hope dashed was so severe it almost crippled me. In those few hours, I painted a picture of the future so beautiful that I almost believed it could be true. I had hope... Hope of a reduced stress level. Hope of having time to fix our house. Hope of having my kids home after school and just spending some time with them. Hope that I could maybe exercise once in a while. Hope that things could just be different. Hope that I wouldn't have to be a slave to nib. Hope... Hope for SOMETHING..

There is still a very very small glimmer - if we can reduce our spending by at least $30K a year we might be able to pull this off. (yes, it does feel impossible.) I will; not get my "hopes" up. I can't... it's just too painful if it doesn't come through...

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Non-Stop Busy Day


Today has been a non-stop crazy-ass busy day. Although, I did get to sleep in (can I tell you how much I needed to sleep in today?) We got up, and I packed for the day. I took Bubba to Taekwondo, and Hubby and I had taekwondo right afterward. I had to pay for testing on Tuesday. I brought "civilian" clothes for Bubba and I. During Bubba's class, I dashed over to Long's and picked up an extra birthday gift (because Prissy is going to the party too. And if I'm bringing an extra kid, I'm bringing an extra present.) I left a bit early from my class and got dressed hastily. I was sweating up a storm and we raced over to the birthday party. It was hot as hell, but the place was somewhat fun. We've been there a lot before. It's Chucky Cheese on steroids. Anyway, the kids were absolutely out of control. The place was packed beyond capacity. And for me, it was an absolute nightmare. I don't especially love crowds or lots of noise. And this place had both. I was in absolute hell. But, the kids had fun.

We got home and hubby (wonderful wonderful hubby) took the kids to the library, the dry cleaners and the hardware store to get a new filter for the house. It was the most wonderful 30 minutes I could have asked for. I read... Nothing else.

We then went to the park and Prissy practiced her pitching and Bubba and I were practicing catching. This 6 or 7 year old rides his bike up and comes over and asks to play. He didn't have a mitt, which isn't the best for throwing a baseball around. It is weird to see a young kid all by himself and I asked him where his parents were. He told me that he didn't have a dad but he was getting a new one. I asked him where his mom was and he said she was at home. He kept asking to play but it wasn't working out well because he didn't have a baseball mit. I was really worried he was going to get hurt. He finally decided to go away. Is it normal for a parent to send a 6 year old to a busy park all by himself? He was a friendly kid - but that could really get him in trouble. It just seemed weird to me.

After this, we went out to dinner at a place called Carino's because we had a gift certificate. Unfortunately, we forgot the gift card. DOH! It was absolutely wonderful food though and the service was fantastic. So, I guess we'll just have to go back.

Tomorrow, Bubba has a soccer game and I have a huge list of errands to get done. But, because I slept in this morning - it just makes all the differerence...

On a super bummer note - my knee hurts like hell. Stupid knee... I better be able to get my black belt. I'm just saying...


Friday, February 8, 2008

Ninja Powers

We had Taekwondo tonight. I really really enjoyed it. I very much like the forms, I sort of like the self defense, I LURVE the weapons (nun-chuck is my weapon of choice.)

We are testing for our next belt on Tuesday - Hubby and I are going for Blue Belt decided and Bubba (who is completely better now) is going for his red belt.

In preparation for testing - we have to break boards. This board break was a step-up side kick. Side kicks are tough for me, because balance is required (of which, I don't have a lot of) and the aim on them is a bit tough. Anyway, I SLAMMED THAT MO-FO! Broke that thing right in two on my first try.

Makes me feel powerful. MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I am a Ninja... Hear me HI-YA!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Week in pictures

I HAVE A PLAN FOR WORK! But, I need a couple of days to figure it out. I think I have a proposal so I won't have to report to nib, but I can keep my team mostly intact. Stay tuned.

So, instead, I decided to post some pictures.

READY TO ATTACK!!! Or, an LSD trip.
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Bubba has been riddled by influenza. I SWEAR - FLU SHOTS FOR EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY NEXT YEAR.

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Ok, catching the flu early and starting on Tamiflu - really makes a difference. Here is a cool floating ball - caught this one on digital film in mid-air.

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Picture to explain why we named the kitty Oreo. She is seriously mellowing out as she is getting older. She is really becoming a super cool cat.

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This is a picture from a few weeks ago. This was taken from the parking lot of a McDonalds. (sort of takes away from the picture huh?) This was when we were traveling for Prissy's baton competition and it was a gorgeous sunrise after a terrible rainstorm.

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Ok, simply, I was messing around with my camera - this one is GREEN. This is what we did yesterday in between working and resting.

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Ok - I just simply think this is a super cool picture. I was still messing around with my camera, and I LURVE this picture.

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That's the post for tonight.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

At least it's accurate

I decided to take a career test today. I always say that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I've been in the same company for the past 12 years and I've moved up through the ranks. I started as a systems analyst in information technology and now I manage a team of software and hardware engineers. I keep doing it because the pay is good and I don't know what else I'd do. I have also enjoyed it, until more recently with the introduction of nib into my life.

Anyway, I took a career test today and it sort of seemed like a sham because it had so many ads that I didn't know how I was going to wade through them and the questions were all a bit weird. But, here is what it came up with for me in order:

Entrepreneur - which actually doesn't surprise me. I've always always wanted to run my own business. I am just totally risk adverse and I really think I will miss that regular pay check.

Business and Management - Ok, I see that. This is what I do now and I really like it. This is a little more broad, but it's good. I really like the people management part of my job.

Technology - I really love technology. I used to be a programmer (before my brain emptied when I became a manager.) And I have always loved to build a computer. So, this isn't so surprising either.

Natural Sciences - "create today the technologies that will change the way people live and work in the future" I can also see myself in a role like this as well.

So, I think the career matches are appropriate. But - now what? The site tells me I need to attend an online school. I don't really want to go back to school.

Maybe it's just back to the drawing board for new ideas for my own business. I would so love to be my own boss and completely in charge of my own destiny.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Dinner Conversation

Scene: Prissy is trying to pour parmesean cheese on her rigatoni. It's a bit clumpy and she's having a hard time.

Prissy: There are sure a lot of balls in this cheese!
Me: You just defined my working conditions.
Prissy: Huh?
Hubby in singsong voice: In-ap-pro-pri-ot!

Moral of the story - I work with almost all cheesy men... :D (but the few women I work with - all top notch!)

Monday, February 4, 2008

Peanuts = Death Nuts

Ok -

In my life, I fondly call peanuts (prior to the birth of my first daughter, it was my most favorite food) - death nuts. My daughter is horribly horribly allergic to peanuts. It took us awhile to figure it out. Her first reaction was when she was 8 months old and she broke out in hives all over her body. I really think that she had crawled in some oils or something.

Her second reaction occured when she was about 15 months old and a child had eaten a peanut butter sandwich in her day care classroom, the teachers cleaned the table and then she ate her lunch. She started having trouble breathing (wheezing) and the school called me. I went to go get her and they were standing outside of the school waiting and asking me if we should call an ambulance. I was thinking she was just wheezy and I said no. When I got her in the car I realized she was starting to turn blue and I pulled into the doctor's office which is right across the street. The hospital was another 4 miles away. I carried my blue, non-breathing child into the doctor's office and started yelling. It was lunch time, but our doctor was there and she grabbed Prissy, ripped her clothes off, and seeing her welts, the doctor very smartly decided to give her epinephrine.

The doctor suggested we get an allergy test - and the second they did the peanut skin prick, Prissy's arm started swelling up. We gave her benedryl and decided that yes, she has a pretty bad peanut allergy and I took her away with my prescription for an epipen. As I was driving - Prissy started having a hard time breathing again, and I turned around and took her right back where she got another shot of epinephrine. Ok, we decided this girl is REALLY allergic to peanuts. The doctor questioned if the skin test could have caused her to have an anaphalactic reaction. It turns out that yes, yes it can.

I used to scoff at the mothers who were hyper-vigilant. Worrying about cross contamination. Worrying about products that happened to be made in the same factory as those with peanuts. These people are CRA-ZA-ZEE. This was my opinion, until the big bad reaction.

Prissy was 3 years old, and a child was simply eating a peanut butter cup in her classroom and she had a reacation (I really think she must have gotten some of the oils on her body or something) - she started coughing and wheezing and swelling up. The preschool called me and said that Prissy was having a peanut reaction and then the phone line had an emergency break through from the paramedics and the line went dead. Totally and completely dead. I was in my cubicle screaming into the phone - I didn't know if Prissy was alive. Thankfully the preschool was less than a block from work. I started running for my car... I was wearing high heels and it felt like a dream - I just couldn't run fast enough. I heard the sirens. They were coming for my baby. I didn't know if she was dead. And I couldn't run because fucking shoes were too high.

I got to my car, I started driving to the school and because of the fire trucks and ambulance excitement - traffic had backed up. I panicked and got out of my car (still running leaving the driver's side door open) and started running for the school. A fireman, or EMT or someone saw this crazy ass woman running down a busy street with heels on - he figured it must be the "mother". He came up to me and told me that Prissy was with the EMTs and to go and get in my car and move it some place safe. I think he was what I needed. I went back to my car and drove it to the preschool and went in. Prissy was screaming hellfire - they had given her an epipen and she was PISSED OFF!!! All these big scary men, poking her, hurting her after not being able to breathe - she was completely freaked out. And what a fucking relief. I didn't care if she was pissed - I was SO HAPPY SHE WAS BREATHING. We had to go to the ER and they gave her some powerful drugs.

Another mom was there during the whole episode, and she said it was terrifying. She didn't realize how bad a reaction to peanuts could be. She told me a month or two ago she still has nightmares about it (it was easily 6 years ago). Yeah, her and me both.

After that, the reactions have been smaller -but, I have realized that yes, even the remotest trace of peanut protein can give her a reaction (she did have a reaction to a cracker made in a factory that processes nuts.)

Since we have been hyper-vigilant she hasn't had any reactions. She's not freaked out by her allergy (most of the time.) She does remember a few of her reactions and they are not pleasant, so she does what she can to avoid a reaction.

Recently, Subway is being sued by a family whose daughter died as a result of cross-contamination with a peanut butter cookie. We eat at Subway once or twice a week. I don't think we'll stop eating there, but I always watch carefully while they are making the sandwiches and I always have her epipen with me.

For the most part, the children in her school have been so cool about her allergy (they have also known her since preschool and I went in every year until she was in 4th grade and read the kids a story about peanut allergies and what they could do to help.) Children are really very sweet when it comes to their friends - parents however can be a little crueler. I have had parents that wouldn't let their kids hand's be sanitized after lunch before the kids were going to make food (just a little sanitizer destroys the peanut protein). Another parent sat down at our table once and when I said it was a peanut free table (they had a PB&J) they told us they weren't moving - but we could. These are the parents.

Anyway, this post is getting long. But, my point is that peanut allergies are real. I don't know how to get this into someone's head until they see a child turning blue and swelling up. Peanuts can cause allergic children to DIE... Realize that in many cases - it isn't parents being melodramatic - we've had close calls and it's the absolutely most terrifying thing a parent can see.

Please understand this - peanut allergic children are just children - they don't deserve to be hated on - nor do their parents who are trying to keep their kids alive. Just a little bit of consideration can save a child's life.

Anyway, for any peanut allergic parents out there - feel free to drop me a line. I've managed to keep my PA child alive for 9 years now. :)

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Never ending

So - I felt terrible on Friday, and did absolutely nothing yesterday. I was mostly down today - but went to Bubba's soccer game (he scored a goal! Yay! He's the top scorer right now.) Went to the store and regular stuff. Anyway, about 4:30pm, Bubba said he had a sore throat (my one and only symptom as well) and he fell asleep while watching the super bowl.

I got up and made dinner (which was finished right at the end of the game - Yay me!) and he said he wasn't hungry and had a stomachache. I took his temperature and he had a fever of 104.7. Da-amn! So, he just rested through dinner.

I'm guessing he has the same thing I do. Hubby wants to stay at home with him tomorrow, but I'm thinking that since I'm not totally well - that maybe I should stay at home with him instead. Anyway, I might also need to go to the doctor tomorrow to do a strep test. It's weird to feel so bad with a sore throat and a fever with no other symptoms. I get strep about once a year usually.

So, I should probably be better tomorrow - Bubba will be sick for a day or two, Prissy will likely get it - then hubby will be down for the count. The good thing is that we don't have anything major until a week from Tuesday when we have belt testing. However, Bubba has some massive math competition on Thursday.

That's all - just the never ending bugs in our house.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Had to Cancel It

I'm such suck. We were supposed to have a Super Bowl party tomorrow. But, hubby cancelled it - I'm just not well. The people we were going to have come over have the flu - the "official" flu (not stumach - but the horrible horrible flu.) So, combined with my sore throat - I know that I would get it - so we canceled the party and I feel like a suck human being.

Anyway, I did go to Taekwondo this morning - I didn't really feel like it, but we have testing in just over a week and if I didn't go, I won't have enough classes and won't be able to test - which would be very bad. It was ok, and I probably needed the exercise - the rest of the day - I literally layed around. It was really pretty nice. I got an Amazon Kindle for my birthday and I read a book all day long. I also took a little nap (I woke up with a nightmare about nib - but that's another post.) So, I'm being lazy and I'm starting to feel a little bit better. Maybe rest really does help.

On a side note - Prissy got her braces off. Huzzah! She looks so weird with them off - grown up and shit.

Friday, February 1, 2008


I'm getting sick!!!! Boohoohoo!!!!

I have a sore throat and a fever - just in time for the weekend! :(

We are supposed to have a Super Bowl party on Sunday. I'm just going to try to completely chill out so I can get better for it. What a sucky blogger I've been for the last two days.